I have been in transition for some time now. It started last September, when Ted and I found out we were pregnant, and I left Haiti less than two weeks later - saying
au revoir to friends and co-workers for an indeterminate amount of time.
Yet we did know that our timeline was changing. Fast. I arrived in San Diego a bit in shock, running on the adrenaline of the very quick, very "adult" decisions we had made in less than a week's time - a record for us. Since seeing our little one's ultrasound and hearing his heartbeat the Wednesday prior, we had decided that I would leave the country, and we would both end our term with MCC on December 23rd. It seemed like the wise, prudent thing to do since we knew we desired to have our baby and set up shop in the U.S. for this next "chapter."
And now we had three months ahead with us mostly being apart. Ted "held down the fort" with our work in Haiti. He enjoyed Sundays with our church community, read a lot, dove into new exploits like bread baking and crepe making. And I was thrust into the throes of 'transition' - sort of getting a grip on this whole 'culture shock' and 'values shock' thing as we awaited our ultimate reunion in late December.
The interim period held a lot of gems. (I will share about one of them soon here.) But my stress about the uncertainty of the future was like the ringmaster calling the shots on my activities in my day-to-day life.
Fast forward to today - February 13 - nearly 6 months later. I am in a very different place, emotionally, and I am starting to come to a new, less frantic look on our reality. Ted and I are together. He is now 7 weeks back from Haiti, and I know he is going through transitions of his own.
So 6 months of transition, and counting. You might say,
so what? People have surely been through much longer times of uncertainty and even unemployment. Yet all the while I have this baby growing in me, inching along to a due date in late April. We have a new reality coming, and he's coming, ready or not! While we are thrilled, this adds a layer of stress to my day-to-day that makes the waiting, the uncertainty, very hard to maneuver.
Yet my solace comes in knowing that things
will work out somehow. We may not know yet where our next steps will be - the job, the home - but we haven't been cast aside or overlooked by our Father.
Seeking Him.
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Haiti in August (I may have been pregnant then without
realizing it.) |
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| San Diego County (Cardiff), near where we are currently based. |
