"An important discipline in the life of the Spirit is spiritual reading. Through spiritual reading we have some say over what enters into our minds. Each day our society bombards us with a myriad of images and sounds... do we really want our mind to become the garbage can of the world?" (Nouwen, Here and Now, p. 80)

Now that sentiment gets one's attention, doesn't it?! In recent weeks and months, I've found myself enjoying some profound new devotional materials. They aren't necessarily defined as such (i.e. for daily or weekly reading with reflection questions, etc), but they are complimenting each other and my journey so well this season that I wanted to share and recommend!

Henri Nouwen, "Here and Now"

I picked this one up from our office library, which is furnished with hundreds of books either donated or carried down by volunteers over the past few decades. Categorized by chapter, Nouwen's book explores a wide variety of topics. As in many of his works, Nouwen’s central concern is in bringing readers to the present moment –the here and now – trusting God more fully, and delighting in who He is.

The chapters in Nouwen’s book have seemed to come at just the right moments. I first picked this up while home over Christmas, the night before our family celebration of Ted’s 30th birthday (done one month early, so that we could all be together.) A few pages in, Nouwen talks about the special meaning of birthdays, because in them we are given a chance to celebrate a person for who they are- not because of graduation, job promotion or some fine achievement. (I read this aloud before we dug into his chocolate cake the next evening; though I think everyone was just eager to dig into the cake. ;) And then, in early January, I read his exhortation to fight fatalism and lean towards faith. This was on the eve of the 5-year earthquake anniversary in Haiti and a fresh onslaught of negative journalism coverage. His reflection was timely and helpful for the discouragement we can face in our work.

David Winter, "Closer than a Brother"

Closer than a Brother is a re-interpretation of the famous meditation of Brother Lawrence, Practicing the Presence of God. Given to us a few years ago by my mother-in-law, I've read it once and Ted and I are now re-reading it together, "book-on-spouse" style as my dad would say :)

Each chapter is a conversation between the author and Laurie, the kitchen cook at the hospital where they both work. It's full of reminders of the overwhelming presence of God in the day-to-day, and some of the "simple truths" about our faith that are profound and yet still so hard to grasp. A common theme in a few books that I am reading right now is summed up in the most recent chapter we read in Winter's book: "All He really wants is me." A helpful, sort of mind-bending truth, isn't it?

"Living the Christian Year, Time to Inhabit the Story of God"

This was given to me by a friend about a year ago, and it has enriched some of the past ''holy seasons'' immeasurably! The starting premise of the Christian Calendar is that each season is holy. I had never heard of Ordinary Time or quite understood the season of Epiphany or even the Twelve Days of Christmas before reading this book. The book begins with a great explanation of the history and meaning behind the Christian calendar, which is typically followed in the more orthodox Christian traditions and not American Protestantism. It then has guided Scripture reading, prayer and mediation points for each week of the year.

Ted and I especially appreciated the readings on Advent and the Twelve Days of Christmas. Every night we had a common Scripture to read. It helped ground us in the season, in the midst of the strong pull towards frenzy and increased busyness. (I must say, being in Haiti helped with that in its own way.) The explanations on Christmas traditions were also very enlightening. I loved discovering that the Twelve Days begin on Christmas. So really, the party is just getting started! After 40 days of anticipation, the celebration is not over in one day. It's meant to last over twelve days of intentional celebration and joy.

We aren't picking this up every single night, but what's wonderful is that it's always there and makes it easy to delve into the current season. Now with Lent beginning, I am looking forward to using this more intentionally once again.

We welcome your feedback and other suggestions!

'The Color of Water' by McBride

I just finished reading James McBride’s memoir and piece dedicated to his mother, The Color of Water. A friend had recommended this book to me for years, and I finally picked it up for the Christmas break. I am so glad that I did!

McBride also wrote The Good Lord Bird, winner of the National Book Award for 2013, which I highly recommend to history nuts or lovers of historical fiction.

Raised orthodox Jewish and an immigrant to America from Poland, McBride’s mother flees from her oppressive family structure in the South to get lost and find a future in the bustle of New York City in the 1930s and 40s. A white woman, she marries an African American man who introduces her to the Christian faith. Together, they build the foundation for a remarkable family. Twelve siblings comprise the household in which McBride is raised in New York. Living meal-to-meal, day-by-day, McBride's family is fueled by his mother’s resolve, nonstop movement, and incredible strength. Her wit and McBride's honest reflections string together this tight narrative that will have you instantly hooked.

I recommend this book to everyone who loves a good story, and also exploring the many angles of racial identity in America.

water: life

I almost laughed the first time I saw this. We have a plant in our office. In a space without windows, this bit of green adds a lot of life.

After having it for a week or so, this is what it looked like.

It's lovely. It's green. Sure, I hadn't really thought to water it, but I was still appreciating the fact that it was alive. It wasn't brown; the leaves weren't falling off. You can see here that whole thing does have a bit of "droop" to it, but the change from when we first bought it was so gradual that I hadn't really noticed...

Then, I decided to give it a little water before leaving the office. It's probably about time for that, I thought. When I came in to work the next morning, this is what I found:

A whole new plant! It's spunky; it's spry. Look, you can even see the pot it's nestled in. Whoa, I had no idea the life it had been missing.

And I immediately thought of the connection to my own heart and life. It's amazing how being connected to the Vine and receiving from the Living Water really is our life source (John 4, 14). Going awhile without it, even if we "don't notice" on a surface level (we may think we're functioning "just fine" by our own less-than standards), we will start to wilt.

Again, I had been fine with the way the plant looked before. In my ignorance really, I thought it was "ok." But no, the plant needed so much more, and we need so much more to thrive. True life and breath really is in Him!

(p.s. I realize this post reveals my total ineptness in caring for plants. I'm okay with that! haha. I'm learning. :)

A few key messages from God

A time for lament. The time leading up to my week at Duke's Center for Reconciliation was difficult for me, as I was still reeling from a shooting that happened on our block just a few weeks before. As a witness to the shooting (in which no one was, thankfully, hurt), I experienced shock, numbness, and confusion for some time. As I boarded the plane for Durham, I felt worn and tired from trying to process the hard questions that I needed to ask, like: what am I doing here? What does God want to show me through this? I felt deeply burdened by the hardships faced by residents on my block.

When I applied for the conference two months prior, I had thought that the time would be one of vision-casting and receiving direction for my life, as it pertained to the pursuit of God's heart for reconciliation. I was excited and expectant at the connections and plans God would lay. Instead, I found myself acknowledging after the first day's sessions that I felt completely burnt out.  Oh no!

Has that ever happened to you? You enter something new with expectations that sparks will fly and that God will speak something so clearly and directly, that all of a sudden the different pieces that He has been moving in your heart and mind will click into one, clear Word from Him, but then, nothing tangible seems to materialize?

In hindsight, I can see that what did happen at Duke far outweighed my expectations. God did speak clearly to me, but in my cloud of mixed desires and expectations, it was difficult to discern.

Of all the themes explored at the conference, the dominant message for me came from day two, where we explored the meaning of Lament. Rev. Sarah Jobe, a prison chaplain, shared how her daily experiences of overwhelming sorrow and darkness threaten to make her heart hard. Lament is the antidote to a hardened, calloused heart, but it requires an intentional choice to keep our hearts soft toward God. It requires space to weep, mourn, and pray. At the other end of lament, we do experience hope, and resurrection.


This statue on Duke's campus called "Reconciliation: The Parable of the Prodigal Son" demonstrates both the hardened and the softened heart before God. The prodigal son, though he spurned his Father's name and ran off in disobedience, came back weeping and asking for forgiveness (pictured here). I spent a lot of time studying this statue one morning.

But the older son, despite the Father's pleading, stands with his arms crossed, remaining hardhearted towards them both. He, like his Father, had been hurt by the younger brother, but he held onto that hurt instead of opening himself to grace and compassion which come from above. As I gazed upon the statue, I didn't label myself as one son over the one, but I could see both of them in myself, and I knew that the message that morning about having a "soft heart" was for me.

God invited me into His presence that week, through quiet time, and through the compassionate ears of a few key people. As I look back at it now, I think I was being called to just kneel and lament in His presence, much like the younger brother in this statue, and to receive grace for myself. I didn't need to "figure out" what God was doing or where He was taking me in terms of my spiritual direction. I just needed to be.

Gorgeous spaces for reflection at Duke

Staff Retreat

Imagine sitting by a warm fireplace, on a comfortable couch, with a journal and Bible in hand, looking out at a scene like this one. This comprised at least half of my day at CLCP's first staff retreat, which took place last Monday. I'd like to share with you excerpts from our director's recap of that day. In it, you'll find ways you can be praying for us (highlighting in particular the fourth paragraph below):

Dear CLCP board,

                I wanted to report to you on what came out of our staff retreat, and our extended time of prayer, reflection and fellowship. The legal ministry is God’s work and it is a work of the spirit.  It will emerge from our life with God.

                Our theme was “Nothing is Impossible with God.” We looked at Isaiah and how God cares so much about Justice and the Poor and how he showed his mercy even in judgment by providing the Jews and the world with a Messiah. Isaiah shows us how things are now, how they will be in the near future, how they will be when Christ comes, and what the heavenly kingdom will be like.  So we can look at our world and realize there is more than we can see now. That is helpful when we look at how big the problems are that we are trying to deal with.

                Wendy led us off with a lesson on loving as Jesus loved, and took us deep into John 17 and what it means to be one in Christ, to be one as He is with the father, that type of unity. We left feeling closer to that oneness, and if I could pick one thing that emerged from our time it’s that we want to build on that with our clinic attorneys. 

                We are concerned that we are lacking spiritually, on clinic day, which is our main event.  That we come from work, all business, give advice, go home for dinner. And that what happens behind closed doors, in our clinic offices, could be better, for the attorney and the client.  We’d like to encourage attorneys to come spiritually prepared, maybe even listening to a good tape or music on the ride down.  We’d like to get attorneys there a half hour early, and have a good time of prayer and preparation that is inspiring and gives some food for thought, a transition from the work day. Have people praying for the clinic time, seeing it as a divine appointment, taking the time to minister effectively. Then afterwards, have a meal together and a time to debrief, right there at the clinic. And see the time spent as given to the Lord, even if clients end up not showing up. This will take some set up by us, and cooperation from the attorneys. We also need to constantly be incorporating new attorneys into this fellowship. 

                We talked about our spirituality.  That’s not our vision, or our plan, or our procedures.  It’s what we look and feel and sound and smell like.  We are in the justice and reconciliation business.  It’s a people business. Our goal is changed lives.  We deal with poverty at its root – broken relationships, with God, family, employers, everyone and everything. That takes time. We need help from our community partners.

We talked about loving like Jesus loved, what that would look like.  There is a humility and gentleness that is needed that may seem unlawyerly, and in some sense we need to give up something to get there.  We are all so busy.  It’s an enemy and obstacle to our work, which asks volunteers to donate time they don’t have.  We need to model an unbusy lifestyle.  “I have time for you. No, I’m not busy.” We value busyness, and we shouldn't.

                We’d like to model an effective approach to sharing the gospel with our clients.  We want to have non-Christian clients, and clinic attorneys. We need to struggle with the tension that will bring; it’s a good tension – not everyone will agree with us. A local pastor and friend asked Ted and me if we wanted to go with him to share the gospel to a friend’s son last Friday at 6 pm.  I wish I had said yes and gone with him. I missed an opportunity....